What is in this relationship that I can benefit from? Am I happy? Am I satisfied in just spending time with him? Because the minute that I have one difficulty or maybe disagree with him, it seems like it is no longer going to work. We seem to function in this way always, as women. Look at all of the divorce rates in America and how quickly they have escalated in the past 50 years. We are done putting our two cents and expect a harmonious relationship naturally. Yes, you should find someone that you are happy with, who makes you feel like a Queen, and loves you endlessly, but does that mean that at times you are going to receive nothing? Of course! You cannot expect a 50/50 relationship constantly. There are going to be times (that is if you are in a committed life-long relationship) where you have kids and it's 60/40; times when you always take the kids to soccer practice & always drive them around and your husband doesn't because he's too busy making a living to support the family, 70/30. It may not ever feel like enough until you learn to appreciate and understand them for what they are and what they have to offer.
Maybe 10 years down the road, you may not have that spicy romance, may not have that lush wild sex, may not have that peace and quite before bed, but you also have developed such a friendship with your partner over that time. Over the past 10 years you have learned more about each other through every bicker, through every phone call, through every conversation before bed, through each welcoming of a new child, through each meal at the dinner table. We have to be so careful with relationships because now we are all giving up more quickly and easily saying that well I am not happy in this relationship. Then you proceed to a new relationship and find that you are not happy, so you leave once again, when in reality your perception of happiness is only found within an obscured fairytale.
The best marriages I have seen are between those two who are best friends prior to marriage. It is only conspicuous because these two already have a clear understanding of one another and find that they have enough in common to love each other on a brother/sister level. They watch out for one another, understand when they are upset and how to lift them up. They are best friends because they share everything with one another and trust each other equally.
What I am trying to say underneath these sheets is do not look for what you can take from the relationship, but rather what you can and are willing to give. Give at your own will and never expect anything. We seek relationships in life that are equal where we can give and find happiness in our mate. Continue to search for that but also never forget that he may not show his love the same way that you do. Behind all of the sweet surprise gifts and amazing meals that you may prepare for him, he may show his love by simply being present. Men are simple and women are complex. Let's make it easier on them and appreciate them for all they are and remind them of what a great job they are doing. I dare you!
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