The 1950's Housewife

            Doesn't it seem a bit absurd to drop everything you are doing, the environment surrounding you, the friends, the connections, the opportunities, the residency you just obtained for a man? Absolutely! By all means a woman who would choose to do so would have to be in an induced coma resulting from this so-called love affair. So why do I find myself placing in precisely the same situation? More interestingly, I didn't come to college to find a man I would fall in love with, a struggle with declaring a major, nor the idea of connecting with so many wonderful families within the community. I came to college with the simple intent of obtaining a degree in songwriting and becoming a world renowned singer/songwriter. Funny how I ended up taking such a different turn than I had ever expected. Now I am finally coming to an understanding of what I want to do with my life and where I feel that I will find the best suite for a professional career.
          "You don't have to be a shell, you're the one that rules your world. You are strong and you'll learn that you can still go on. You'll always be a pearl." Katy Perry protests that any woman should fall into the trap of a man who takes that peal and locks her up in a shell where she can't shine. Thus, here I am in the same situation sincerely wondering if I should follow a man and expect that things will just work out. I want to be an optimist who focuses all of my energy on what could go well but the realistic side of me is greatly weighing down all of the cons.
           At what age and time is it deemed appropriate for a woman to follow in the foot steps of a man and give up her prior goals and images of a future to be with him? Is that germane after 2 years of a relationship when marriage is expected? Or how about if you are 55 years old and just recently divorced and are sure that the person you found through match.com is your soul mate? Or how about if you have been dating for 7 months and still see this person as your soul mate? Is it just ludicrous? I will begin to weight the pros and cons of the idea. Is this man worth it? How will he support me in this decision? Will there be any commitment that will benefit both of us in the remote future?

Do Men Want a Princess?

          I'm beginning to wonder if men truly want a woman who is feminine and put together a majority of the time; a woman who exemplifies all true values of her feminine side? Or is it that men appreciate a woman who expresses her honest side and flaunts her strength? Some men are impressed by a woman who burps because she is not afraid of her biological anatomy, while some men are offended if a woman farts. Women are at a crucial stand in history right now in defining our place in society. We are now expected to work full-time yet still manage a family, pick up our kids from school, ensure they grow up appropriately. Where do we draw the line?

         What is it that men really want from us? Do they expect us to be exactly similar to their mother and care for them the way they were cared for? Do they expect us to be that fairytale princess or model exuding extreme levels of confidence? Do they expect us to be curvy or thin as a hanger sitting on the rack backstage for New York's fashion week? I find it interesting that just 50 years ago, Marilyn Monroe was the epitome of beautiful. A full figured woman measuring a size 8 with hips, a rear, and a chest was considered a model. Where has that image fallen today? A size 0-4 is where we are expected to be. This is contradicting our anatomy as women. How are we expected to be so small yet still be capable of child-bearing. 

          Yet the same question appears over and over. What is it that men are initially drawn to? All men are different, just as every woman is different, the outer appearance to a man is usually the main aspect of his initial draw out of the deck. It is by nature, instinctively that a man wants an attractive woman and why not? I too, need to have a physical attraction to my partner or the chemistry simply falls apart. 

          If you, similar to all other women, continue to search for what men want you will be endlessly disappointed. There is no easy answer. That is why I always say, smile, walk with elegance, (or attempt to, as I do) be yourself, and make yourself seem approachable. A man wants a woman who is sure of her identity and does not need to be reminded that she is amazing. Women love to hear it, but don't doubt that if he doesn't say it that he isn't thinking it. Men are always taught growing up that they must shield their emotion, keep to themselves, and restrain from violence. Naturally when a little boy wants to cry, their mother will say suck it up, you just fell down, it will heal. We shut off that sensory receptor to communicate their emotion. So women, be easy on your man, he will say how he feels if you ask him to and don't interrogate him. 

Oh Thank You

            Thank you! Thank you for all that you've given me. Thank you for all of the moments we spend together, for every chance I get to have a kiss, for every chance I get to hold your hand. Thank you for those things that maybe you aren't always able to do, but you never fail to remind me of how much you would love to do them.

           When was the last time you thanked your special someone for all that they do for you? When did you last remind them of how grateful you are for everything that they do for you? It's so easy to get caught up in everything we receive on a daily basis and let it go without recognition. It is my challenge that you seek out today a thank you for everything that you receive today and for a simple reminder to those around you of how ultimately grateful you truly are.
 
         In those moments when we neglect to thank others for everything, is the moment when they feel unappreciated and the relationship slowly begins to decimate. Those small clusters of words can truly keep a relationship healthy. Every moment is worth the celebration. Every chance that you get to tell someone of how much they mean, ensure that you take advantage of it and never overlook it.